Thursday 11 February 2021

೩೮ . Relationships...As you sow, so you may not reap...

In1990 ,we the family members had gone on a tour.
Our daughter Maitri was  of only ten months baby at the time. Many people wondered how we could manage that.

After a week Maitri became sick. She used to cry all the time when ever we got into our Van and it was non-stop till we came back to our home. but to our surprise, after coming home she used be happy enough to crawl around the whole house and we could not make her sleep easily.

This is how we develope  attachements  in life right from our childhood . Many times some relationships disappear by themselves.In some case new relationships take over the old ones automatically. What ever may be the cause, ultimate ly we are the ones, who suffer emotionally.

 Our childhood experiences find their roots deep into our hearts and make us feel comfortable and cool  when ever we visit  those places ,meet those childhood friends, revive  those childhood memories. It will be still more intense if the life ,we are leading now is totally of different kind.

Especially those people, who are more emotional kind of persons, suffer more, feel more, fear more as and when  nothing works according to their expectations.

FEAR means something  like  our inability to face a new situation and skill to handle it. The only way to get rid of it  is ," to get into it and tackle boldly".

That FEAR is like a ghost which we have never seen, but always think it is THERE and may harm us ANY TIME/ANYWAY.

To get ourselves free from this fear ,there are only TWO WAYS.

One, to be ready physically and mentally to face ,and fight it whatever may come next .

 Second, to accept what ever comes on our way,( to  leave it to our fate or destiny) when we could do nothing about it.

While doing this, two things matter a lot. Do the family members ,whom we claim as OURS,  support us, or stand against our policy. How  they behave, how they analyse  our  stand , affect us EMOTIONALLY.

*  Difference between husband and wife.

* Differences between in laws.

* Differences between colleagues in workplaces.

* Non acceptance with friends.

* Fights with Neighbours.

* Lack of trust between lovers

All these are day- today  happenings  of our lives.

More threatening is, when OUR OWN PEOPLE  cheat us  by  supporting  the other group and joining  in their foul play.

Now it is THE RIGHT TIME  to  decide whether or how much we have to be in such relationships.

It's very difficult to decide it when/ if we are driven by emotions. One more difficult thing is to get into someone's shoes.We don't think from their angle most of the times, but get stuck into self woven webs. We will be successful when we are un biased ,more so in relationships.Then only relationships can last long

There is not any thing new in it, we know it ,but don't adapt it easily. We don't think, what we expect from others, may be vice versa . We  forget  such things intentionally or otherwise.

 This is life. All relationships are bound to perish one or the other day. It's BARE TRUTH. We have to accept it, and act accordingly. Memories are the  "only companions" till death
In life. We should know it.

Our life has " priorities " They go on changing as life goes on. Nothing is permanent in life. Everything just adds to our experiences ands helps us to move on...
 
That's how life is to be  moulded into shape. Take the example of Mahatma Gandhi.
His recklass childhood, western life style in South Africa, experience of being thrown out
from the railway bogi, all such experiences  moulded him into a totally different person.

 It's clear, we can't aim at such a big thing, but definitely
can dream of something within our capacity level and do whatever best we can...

So , not crying anymore for the relationships  gone,
doing whatever  possible for a 
 happy and healthy life, utilising the the time the WAY WE WANT is the only possible solution to solve such problems permanent ly.

(My Translation of Kannada article, "Sabmbandhagalu" by. Shri Nagesh-.a columnist, on 
a demand by a friend.)

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